Date of Birth: September 13th, 1978

Place of Birth: London, UK

Siblings? Two brothers and a sister

Married? Nope

Children? Nope

Grand-children? Yes, four boys and I’m so proud. Actually, nope.

Where do you live? Aylesbury, Bucks. About 10 minutes in the car from work if I leave on time; 20 minutes if I’m running late!

Education: Misspent.

Previous jobs: Freedom fighter, stunt double, horse whisperer, pirate, KGB sleeper, hippo tamer – I have been none of these things. This is my first full-time job.

Do I play Bridge?

Depending on who you talk to, I play either far too much or far too little.

Why did I get this job?

As a stop-gap until I perfect my stock market predictor and put the finishing touches to my first Great American Novel. Only kidding (Barry, if you’re reading this). It’s really because I want to serve the UK’s bridge players to the best of my ability, ensuring value for money and quality of service.

How long have I been here?

Since November 2004.

What do I do?

Lots of things! I look after a lot of the technical business of the EBU: the membership database, email system and office computers and am usually the first port of call if anything goes wrong. I also produce reports and statistics for the management, man the email helpdesk and test any new software that we use here. Away from the technical side, I deal with local printers, I’m responsible for the EBU diary every year and I correct Karen’s spelling mistakes.

Silly questions - with silly answers !

Who would you like to be stranded on a desert island with and why?

A professional shipwright.

If you could come back as an animal what would it be?

A cow in India. I’d sit in the middle of a busy road and rain curses down on any driver that dared to shout at me.

If you weren’t working for the EBU, what would be your ideal job?

Nobel Prize-winner. I’m not fussy either: literature, peace, chemistry – even economics.

If money was no object, tell us about your dream holiday?

If money was no object, my dream holiday would be a grand tour of the world. Lasting 70 years. >

What book are you currently reading?

The Third Policeman by Flann O’Brien.

What CD is in your car?

The Best of Kabat, a Czech heavy-metal group. Honestly, it really is!

Which 4 famous people (dead or alive) would you invite to a dinner party?

Gamal Abdel Nasser, Chevy Chase, Omar Khayyám, and Karen Allen

What is your ideal night out (or in)?

>Catching a Rainer Werner Fassbinder revival at an indy cinema and talking about it afterwards with like-minded friends over a pint of Harveys Best Bitter. Then an opulent meal at the world’s finest curry house before dancing the night away with a beautiful girl. Strike that. Five beautiful girls – this is my fantasy after all!

Tell us something about you that no one else in the EBU would know?

I already have an authorised biography at my website,  poorbridge.com (cheers Phil!).